Silver and Gold

Make new friends,
But keep the old.
One is silver
And the others gold.

We have been in our new home 8 months and it finally feels more like home. I no longer dread going to church and wondering who I will talk to. I no longer get lost as I run errands. I feel more comfortable living here and it feels good.

Oh, there are still hard times. A month ago our stake was having a Relief Society Conference. I walked into the chapel and did not see anyone I knew. As I attended the workshops I forced myself to talk to "strangers" that someday might become acquaintances and perhaps even friends. They were very nice, but it was very uncomfortable as I looked around the room and saw women who were obviously good friends. I wondered if I would ever feel that sense of belonging. When it was time for lunch, I felt like leaving. But, I forced myself to stay. I walked into the Cultural Hall and scanned the room. I saw one table with a few women from my ward. I hesitantly walked over towards them and timidly asked if there was room for me. If they had said every seat was taken, I would have smiled and quietly walked out of the room, out to my car, and drove home. Fortunately, there was an empty place and they seemed happy to have me join them. So, even though I still feel uncomfortable at stake events, my ward is starting to feel more like home.

Recently I have seen that friendships are forming. Let me give you three examples:

A couple of Mondays ago, my visiting teachers were supposed to come over at 1:30 pm. About noon I had received an e-mail from BYU's Independent Study saying that my last class was graded. I had received an A and I was so excited that I truly was finished. A couple of minutes later, the phone rang. It was Jennifer, one of my visiting teachers. She told me that she and Annie were at an Italian restaurant and they wondered if I would like to join them for lunch. I had never heard of this place and asked for directions. I was so proud of myself that I actually KNEW where these streets were and drove their without hesitation. After I arrived, I shared my good news that my last BYU class was finished. They rejoiced with me. We talked for nearly three hours and it felt for a few moments like I was having lunch with my Stockton friends. We shared some tender feelings of the heart. I think they were inspired to change our visiting teaching plans so we could get to know each other on a deeper level. Some silver friendship strands were formed.

The next day, another woman in the ward called. I feel a connection to Karen and feel like we could become very good friends. She has a daughter Emily's age and Laura told her mom that Emily was struggling to find a white shrug for her prom dress. Karen had been out shopping and came across a white shrug she thought would be perfect.

"I bought three of them--small, medium, and large," she told me. "You can have her try them on and pay me for the one you keep and I'll return the others."

I was so touched with her thoughtfulness. When she came over later that afternoon, we visited for 15 minutes talking about a wide variety of subjects. More silver strands of friendship were formed.

Last week for Mutual, our ward has an Amazing Race activity. They thought that all the leaders would need to drive, but four young women leaders (including myself) didn't need to. We stuck around to help with the scoring when the teams came back. We visited with each other and I learned some of the joys and struggles that the other women serving in Young Women are going through right now. A few more silver strands of friendship were formed.

I miss my "golden friends" in Stockton. I miss Marian and her thoughtfulness. I miss Trina and Velvet and how they could always make me laugh. I miss Alexandria and her generosity. I miss Julie and our long walks and talks. I miss Shirley and our talks about education and the school system. I miss Maxine, Juliene, Pat, and Julie and our lovely book club. I miss Candy, Sheri, Lori, Sandy, Ruth, and Sally and our "Sew What's New" evenings. I miss my wonderful sister-in-law Vicki and how we became good friends the last few years that we lived in Stockton. I miss ANOTHER Marian and how we shared favorite books and the joys and struggles of motherhood. I miss many, many other wonderful women as well. I miss the love and support they have shown me over the years. I will always treasure these golden friendships.

I am grateful for the "silver" friends that I am beginning to make. Women NEED friends in a way that men seldom do. Our husbands and children are the most important people in our lives, but it's our mother, sisters and our friends who bring an added dimension. We rejoice with each other when times are good. We cry with each other with times are hard. We are each others support system.

So to my friends--the silver and the gold--thank you for making my life fuller and richer.