Don't Call Us...We'll Call You or The End of the Saga

RECAP: As we left woman in yesterday's cell phone saga, she and her family had moved where her cell phone rarely worked. And now, the story continues.....

When woman, husband, and darling daughter #4 moved, they did not have a land line or the Internet for 1 1/2 weeks! That is a very long time to not check e-mail. Or update blog. Or check Facebook. Or even get the occasional phone call.

Woman got into the habit of carrying cell phone EVERYWHERE in her pocket.

She even remembered to turn it on.

Alas...cell phone missed many calls because of spotty coverage.

Something had to be done!

It was finally decided to give up beloved cell phone and cell phone number with 209 area code to find something a little more dependable.

Alas....woman has not changed her ways. Cell phone is rarely on. Cell phone is rarely carried. Cell phone is usually with darling daughter #4 so she can call and ask to be picked up from lengthy drama practices.

A couple of weeks ago, woman and her mother were talking to an acquaintance. Acquaintance was interested in obtaining woman's contact information.

Address. Check.

Home Phone. Check.

E-mail address. Check.

Cell phone number.

Cell phone number?

Woman did not KNOW her cell phone number. Woman has NEVER used the new phone. The one time Woman actually received a phone call, she could not find her phone in the depths of her purse. Woman could never figure out how to retrieve the message.

Clearly, woman is pathetic.

Clearly, woman is not ready for the 21st century.

This is what made it so ironic when woman and California sister were watching TV on Thanksgiving night and a commercial came on for a new 4G phone.

Woman shouted, "I NEED a 4G phone!"

California sister replied, "Yes, so we can video conference with each other!"

(California sister shares woman's habit of rarely using cell phone. So does their mother. It must be a family thing.)

Woman exclaimed, "We can update our Facebook!"

California sister replied: "And surf the Internet!"

California Sister and Woman were rolling with laughter. They thought they were SO Funny!

No one else joined in their laughter.

Woman said, "We should be on stage at some comedy show!"

California Sister said, "Yes, we are HILARIOUS!"

No one else joined their merriment.


I can hear the talent scouts say now,

Don't call us...we'll call you.

I hope they don't call their cell phones. They'll never get an answer.