On Proposals, Poison Oak, and Picnics

Last Monday Ron, Emily, and I took a day trip to the Santa Cruz mountains. We visited a popular park. As we drove in, memories came flooding back. This is a place where my family went camping as I was growing up. It is absolutely beautiful and I was anxious to share the place with my family.

As we walked over to the picnic area another, less pleasant, memory came back.

This could be THE picnic table where an exceedingly awkward event occurred.

This is where I received my first marriage proposal.

"Loralee, will you marry me?"

I had not seen this coming AT ALL! We were both 18 years old and had not dated steadily in over a year.

"What about your mission?" I stalled as I tried to think of SOMETHING diplomatic to say.

"I thought we would serve a mission together when we retired," he replied.

"Uhhhh, I always planned on marrying a returned missionary," I said. "I'm sorry, I can't marry you." (Not terribly diplomatic--but it's the best I could come up with at the time.)

The rest of our picnic was strained, to say the very least.

When I shared this memory with Emily she was appalled!

"Why would anyone propose here?" she asked. "It's so....." her voice trailed off.

"Public?" I asked. She shook her head no.

"It's so not pretty!" Clearly, she was not impressed. I thought it was a lovely spot, but everyone has their own ideas of beauty.

Ron, Emily, and I enjoyed our picnic--even if the weather was rather cold. Emily and I rocked back and forth, back and forth in rhythm trying to keep the blood flowing so we could stay warm. Once we finished our food, we went back to the car and turned on the heater full blast to warm up. There is nothing like going on a picnic in February.

Warming up in the car. Yes, we're wimps!

Once our hands and feet didn't feel frozen, we began our hike. As we walked up the trail, another memory came back. This one was sweeter. And itchier. Ron and I took this same hike when we were engaged. Somehow I also came into contact with poison oak. I forgot the important rhyme:

Leaves of three...
Let them be.

My legs were one miserable mess. Ron got off poison oak free. As we climbed the trail, I anxiously kept a look out for more poison oak. I stayed safely away this time.



This is what we saw on our journey.

Waterfalls.


Many, many waterfalls! It was absolutely beautiful.


I think we should make the waterfall hike and freezing cold picnic an annual President's Day tradition. We had a lovely, lovely time despite some rather awkward and itchy memories.

Double the Pleasure...Double the Fun?

I taught early morning seminary again this week. I taught once yesterday and twice this morning. How do you teach two times in one morning? When your building has an early early morning seminary class and a plain early morning seminary class--that's how.

The teachers of both classes were wonderful--they said I didn't have to prepare two different lessons even though they were on a slightly different schedule. I spent most of yesterday preparing my lesson carefully. I was teaching Emily's and "the cousins'" class for the first time and I wanted to do well.

I was a little creeped about going to the church at 5:30 am to open up the building. I would be the first person there and what if there were scary people lurking in the parking lot? Or lurking in the Relief Society room? OR lurking under the stage?

I am not making this up--I was told by one of the seminary teachers that a homeless man was found living under the stage in a church building not too far from here. SHUDDER!

Ron was very sweet. He offered to go to the church before me and not only open the building, but turn on the lights and the heater and make sure that there were no homeless people lurking in the shadows.

I don't know if he ever checked under the stage. I forgot to remind him.

Emily and I showed up a few minutes later. My class soon arrived. The early early morning seminary class is the LARGEST in our building. About 28 students are enrolled. Despite their large size they were delightful, respectful, and a joy to teach. Emily said her class was TOO quiet this morning. I didn't mind.

We studied D&C 117 and 118 this morning. We talked about not coveting and what is most important in life. We talked about quarterbacks on a football team and how most of us won't be a quarterback in the figurative sense of the word, but every position in the Church is important. We read a quote by President Hunter where he said some of the greatest service would be in our own homes and serving as home and visiting teachers. We then talked about Oliver Granger--an amazing man in church history that isn't as well-known but yet served faithfully and earned the respect of non-members who lived in the Kirtland area. We talked about how even if we never receive worldly accolades, as long as Heavenly Father is pleased with our service, that should be enough.

We also talked about the Quorum of the Twelve serving a mission to England and how they were asked to leave from Far West, Missouri while tensions against the Mormons were very, very high. We talked about how sometimes we are asked to do hard things. We talked about my nephew serving his mission in El Salvador and how it's been a cultural shock for him but he's serving with his whole heart. It was a GREAT lesson. (At least I think so.)

And then, I repeated the lesson again to another group of students. One young man was a glutton for punishment and attended both the early early morning session and the later 6:45 am session. I apologized that he was going to have to hear the same lesson twice but he said he didn't mind.

Today was a great day teaching seminary! It truly was double the pleasure and double the fun.

"Mom--You're Strong"

Once upon a time when I was a younger Mommy, I took up strength training. I bought a few light dumbbells and some exercise tapes. Eventually I bought a bar bell. I felt so hard core! In those days, our family room couch had good clearance and I stored my bar bell under it. My kids were quite impressed that I actually lifted weights. Let me give you two examples.

Example One:

When Emily was in Kindergarten or 1st grade, she drew a picture of me. I was lifting weights in my picture--two dumbbells that weighed 100 pounds EACH! I kept that picture on my refrigerator for years. It brought me a good laugh. I want to say I have NEVER lifted 100 pounds. I don't think it is possible.

Example Two:

A couple of years after I was called to serve as Relief Society president, our ward was combined with another ward. There were now two Relief Society presidencies, two Primary presidencies, etc. The Bishop of the other ward was released so at least that wasn't an issue. The Bishop called a meeting and asked the President's and Quorum Leaders of both wards to attend. He wanted us to share notes about the members of each ward. Perhaps Christie thought this meeting was a test or a chance to campaign for further service. She wrote out a speech for me to give to state why I should continue to serve as the Relief Society president. I don't remember all the details about the speech except the part that stated, "And I lift weights!" (And no, I did NOT give this speech!)

Last night was our ward's New Beginnings. We had an Olympic theme. After the opening ceremonies, the three teams--Laurels, Mia Maids, and Beehives competed in different value events. A parent or sibling was encouraged to also participate. One of the events was "weight lifting." Emily nominated both of us to represent the Laurel team. "You're strong," she said.

Now, I have to say, I don't feel particularly strong. I don't lift my bar bell as often as I used to--partly because it's now stored in the garage and it's not very convenient. But, I do try to lift weights at least once a week.

Emily and I went to the front of the Cultural Hall. We joined the other mother-daughter pairs and were given two hymn books to hold. We were instructed to raise our arms horizontally and parallel to the ground and without bending our elbows hold the books as long as possible.

I am not exaggerating that I started doing a little dance to the Olympic music. This wasn't too bad.

Soon, two more hymn books were added to our outstretched arms. Still, not too bad. I kept dancing.

Three people soon dropped their hymn books. They added a third hymn book to each outstretched arm. Hmmm....Now it was becoming a wee bit uncomfortable. I stopped dancing, but kept bouncing to the music.

Emily was the last girl standing but even she lost her strength. It was down to another mother and I. A fourth hymn book was added. My arms were starting to burn. OK, this was starting to HURT!

Thank goodness, the other mother dropped her hymn books. I was the Olympic champion weight lifter! There was great rejoicing on the Laurel team.

So, for my dear darling daughters, here is another story to add to your mother's weight lifting lore.

Remember the Good Old Days?

This evening we enjoyed a lovely Valentine's Dinner. Ron BBQ-ed tri-tip that I had lovingly marinated earlier in the day. We had re-stuffed baked potatoes. A delightful salad. Red Jell-O served in pretty goblets. Martinelli's. Garlic Bread. (For nothing says Valentine's Day BETTER than garlic bread AND garlic breath.) And for dessert. Chocolate. Lots of chocolate. Rich dark chocolate. Sweet milk chocolate. Decadent white chocolate. It wouldn't be Valentine's Day without chocolate.

As we were eating our tasty tri-tip I asked Ron, "Do you remember the good old days when you used to cut up our meat for us?"

When our four darling daughters were young, he would cut up their meat so it would be easier for them to eat. Many times, he would cut mine up as well. Because it is so. much. work. cutting. up. meat.

He said, "I remember." And he continued to eat his meat.

Emily and I looked at each other. Clearly, he had not taken the hint.

We continued to eat our delicious dinner but our meat sat untouched.

A few minutes later I said, "Emily, do you remember the good old days when Dad used to cut up our meat?"

"Yes," she replied. "Those were GOOD times!"

"Uh, is this a hint?" he asked.

He then proceeded to cut up Emily's meat. Then mine.

Of course Emily and I COULD have cut up our meat. For clearly, we are women! But Ron had the ONLY steak knife (somehow in our move several things have disappeared including the ice cube trays and steak knifes.) But that my friends, is what Valentine's Day is all about--showing someone you love them with simple acts of kindness--whether it is making a special dinner for those you love or cutting up their meat. And the bonus? We relived the good old days for just a few minutes.

Valentine's Day Ideas

Valentine's Day is right around the corner. Here are some fun ideas for an enjoyable celebration:

1. Make a romantic dinner for either your significant other OR your entire family. Bring out the china, the crystal, and the fine silver. Don't own any silver? I don't either! It doesn't matter. Just set a pretty table.

2. Make a batch of red Jell-O and place it in small goblets. Fill only two-thirds full. Save some of the Jell-O. Once the Jell-O in the goblets is somewhat set, take your mixer and whip up the remaining Jell-O until foamy. Put the foam on top and refrigerate. Before serving, add a dollop of whip cream if desired.

3. Serve Martinelli's or white grape juice if you don't like the bubbles.

4. Make something with chocolate for dessert. Or head to Marie Callendar's and pick up their delicious Chocolate Satin Pie. February is PIE MONTH and you can get a whole pie for $7.99 plus the cost of fin. Mmmmm....I love chocolate satin pie.

5. Put together a little nut and candy cup for each person. Valentine M&M's makes a great start. Add a few Dove's chocolates and some Lindt Truffles. Or, buy pretty little boxes at a craft store and fill it with your candy. Your loved ones will feel so special.

6. If finances allow, buy a small gift for each person and place near their plate. It doesn't have to cost a lot--it just shows that you are thinking of them.

7. Write your loved one or each family member a love letter. Let them know how much you love them.

8. Scatter leftover school Valentine's Cards around the room. I enjoy taping them to the dining room light fixture, attaching them to the walls, and scattering them on the table along with candy conversation hearts.

The underlying message of Valentine's Day is showing others that you care for them. Here are some ideas to spread that love with others outside your family:

1. Invite someone over for dinner. You probably know someone who might be a little lonely and would appreciate a nice meal.

2. Make a candy-gram for someone you know that needs a special lift. Attach it to a large poster board. Either deliver it in person or doorbell ditch it.

3. Make heart shaped cupcakes. You don't need special pans. Once you make the batter, place the cupcake liners in the pan and take a small wad of aluminum foil and roll into a ball. Place between the liner and the pan. You now will have heart shaped cupcakes. Once baked and cooled, frost the cupcake with pink icing. Darken the icing and pipe on the outside edges of your cupcake to define the heart shape even more. Add a conversation or chocolate heart and you have a yummy treat!

4. Write an appreciation letter to someone who really made a difference in your life. I did this last year and the person who received my letter was very touched. I don't think we tell people often enough how much we value them.

Hopefully, you will find one idea that will turn this holiday into something a little more special for you, your family, and your loved ones.

Better Late Than Never

Last July was a very busy month. Not only were Heather and Dustin getting married, but we were packing up our house to move the following week. We felt comfortable moving most of our things by ourselves, but when it came to our piano, we hired a company to move it.

It was not a good experience.

This is what I wrote in an earlier post called "A Tale of Two Bears."

A couple of days before Heather and Dustin's wedding, Ron arranged for a piano moving company to come and move our piano. (Duh!) He made sure that he got a written bid saying how much this would cost. They showed up on time and then immediately began hauling out papers and asking me to sign different things before they moved the piano.

Now, before I go any further in this lovely story, let me tell you that these men made me feel uncomfortable. I asked Dustin to pop his head into the living room so they knew that there was a man folk on the premises.

OK, back to the story. I read the first document. It seemed pretty straightforward so I affixed my "John Hancock." Then they pulled out more papers in triplicate. "Sign here!" "Sign here!" Sign here!" As I began signing my name I noticed that they were planning on charging me for an extra man, for extra time, for extra gas. I didn't know what to do. I could see our piano moving expense doubling in no time.

I quietly called Ron at work and told him what was happening. He told me that he had a firm bid and that they didn't have any right to raise the price. I took the papers back from the supervisor and began scribbling out my name. He protested. He protested greatly. He told me he would be in serious trouble with the owner of the company if I crossed out my name. And then, "Mother Bear" took over.

"I just spoke to my husband. He told me he has a firm, written bid that we are paying this price. Now you are saying this is going to cost more! You will move the piano for the price quoted and I refuse to pay any more. Do you understand? Do you understand!?"

He was a little surprised that this sweet, loving, stay-at-home Mom could suddenly turn into a raving lunatic. Poor Heather and Dustin. I'm sure I embarrassed them.

"Do you see this girl over here? This is my daughter! She's getting married in TWO DAYS! I'm moving a week after that! You are NOT going to do this to my family! You are not going to suddenly raise the price. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand," he muttered.

"Now look me in the eye and give me your word that when you deliver this piano you won't suddenly come up with more "hidden fees." Do you give me your word?"

"I give you my word."

"I'm going to hold you to your word. And IF I find out you lied to me, I will not only report you to the Better Business Bureau, but I will also report you to the California Consumer Affairs Department! Do you understand?"

"I understand."

This company delivered the piano and Ron paid them the agreed on price. I'm sure I was not popular.

Well, Ron was asked to fill out an evaluation form about their service. He was quite honest with them about what happened. Six months later Ron received the following e-mail from the company we dealt with.

Hello Ronald,

I am very sorry for this inconvenience and quite surprised that our men would even try to charge you more than the quoted and promised price. We have had some problems with certain foremen that have done some of our jobs. A few have recently been fired because of different types of hardships they have created upon our clients and us. We definitely do not approve of up selling especially once a quote had be so solidly confirmed with each of our customers. I want to apologize that you and your family had to endure such disrespect on our end. Please contact me if you have any further comments. I appreciate your honest feedback.

Best Regards,

Name Deleted to protect a company who I HOPE is trying to improve.

Interesting apology, huh? Better late than never.

Country Living

You know you live in the country when...

1. You see deer on your street as you are backing your car out of the driveway.

You know you live in the country when...

2. The perfume of "eau de skunk" pervades your neighborhood.

You know you live in the country when...

3. It smells like vegetarian pizza on certain mornings. Who can resist the smell of garlic, onions, and tomatoes wafting through the air?

You know you live in the country when...

4. You see three men on three horses riding down a busy street and turning into Starbucks drive-through for their coffee fix.

You know you live in the country when...

5. You can see the Big Dipper, the Little Dipper, and thousands of other stars because of the lack of street lights in your neighborhood.

You know you live in the country when...

6. F.F.A. is one of THE clubs to join at high school. (For those of you not in the know, F.F.A. stands for Future Farmers of America.)

You know you live in the country when...

7. You receive a phone call from the school district informing you about a possible mountain lion sighting only a few miles from your home.

OK, I don't REALLY live in the country. But it sure feels like it at times. And I LOVE it! Except for the mountain lions. And the skunks.

Thirty Reasons

Thirty reasons why I love Ron.

1. He tells me he loves me every day.
2. He doesn't mind if I put my icy cold feet on HIS feet when we go to bed at night.
3. He gives great back rubs.
4. He is a hard worker.
5. He does the dinner dishes nearly every night.
6. He mops the kitchen floor because he knows this is the one household task I despise--with a passion!
7. He listens to me even if I do ramble at times.
8. He buys me milkshakes because he's thinking of me.
9. He makes great peanut clusters.
10. He doesn't mind my vast Christmas music collection--in fact he asks if I need another CD.
11. He is patient and kind.
12. When I ask him to do something, he is always happy to help.
13. He compliments me on my cooking and when something isn't so good-well, he isn't the one to mention it. Because HE knows that I know it, too. And I will NEVER make it again.
14. He is not only willing, but happy to serve others.
15. He is a great father to our four darling daughters.
16. He is willing to watch a chick-flick movie with me.
17. He LIKES the Hallmark channel and their "feel-good" movies.
18. He is usually the one who drives Emily to early morning seminary. Thank you! Thank you!
19. He laughs at my jokes--even the lame ones.
20. He enjoys going on walks with me. Even when it's dark and it's hard to see the dips in the sidewalk.
21. He encourages me to do hard things--like go back to school.
22. He tells me when I look nice.
23. He loves my family and enjoys being around them. I mean--who wouldn't? They are GREAT!
24. He likes the same music I do.
25. He supports and encourages me to attend Women's Conference.
26. He is kind, loving, and patient with older people. Which is good. Because someday we are going to be those older people.
27. If I have a big job, he always asks "How can I help?"
28. He turns on the heater first thing in the morning so I can get up to a warm house.
29. He makes great whole wheat waffles.
30. He always treats me with respect--always.

Happy 30th Anniversary, Ron! I love you!

"Home" Sick

I'm feeling a little "home" sick which should be ridiculous because I'm sitting in my home right now working on my computer.

But, I am.

Last week, my sisters were all in town. Two flew in from Utah. One drove down from the Sacramento area. We and our brothers and assorted brother and sister-in-laws and my Mom and her husband and my husband and daughter and assorted nieces and nephews enjoyed spending time together. We laughed. We cried. We shared memories. We bonded.

For instance did you know that my brother David is a muffin king? He makes GREAT blueberry muffins with just a touch of lemon zest. He sent some muffins home with Barbara, Karen, and me and we feasted on the deliciousness of his muffins for breakfast the next morning.

David and I also share the following traits:

1. We have the same parents.
2. Neither one of us has arm hair.
3. And the new thing we learned--we don't like others sitting too closely to us at church. It gives us claustrophobia.

See, what I mean by bonding?

My family also learned something new about me. Did you know that when I'm speaking a word like their or there or they're that I see it spelled in my mind? I think it helps me not get my words mixed up or something.

My family thinks I'm odd.

This all came about on Friday while my mother and sisters and I were enjoying yummy ice cream cones. My sister Barbara mentioned the delicious home-made Split Pea Soup I made and she had enjoyed for lunch a little earlier in the week. She mentioned that my sister Karen chose not to partake of said soup because she doesn't like the smell.

I said in all innocence, "So you don't like pea smell?"

They looked at me in shock!

"What?" I replied. "P.E.A. I saw it in my head while I said the word."

They thought I see all words in my head when I talk but I reassured them it's only the words that can be spelled in different ways. I also shared that I used to "type" on my binder when I rode the school bus during my high school years. I would type the billboards I saw to practice becoming a better typist.

They thought that was odd, too.

I want to reassure my family I don't practice typing on binders any longer. But, I still practice the piano on my lap before I have to play at church. That seems perfectly normal.

Our family also bonded over Hot Fudge Nutty Nutties in honor of my Aunt Alice. We bought a large tub of vanilla ice cream, several jars of Mrs. Richardson's Hot Fudge sauce after our homemade hot fudge was a dud, two cans of whipped cream, and a large container of peanuts and we enjoyed Hot Fudge Nutty Nutties on Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday. It was almost as delicious as Farrell's version. All that was missing were the two metal containers holding the hot fudge.

I miss my family. I miss my aunt. I feel like I have a hole in my heart today. I know I'll see my mother and brothers soon. I know I'll see my sisters in April. I know I will see my Aunt Alice someday as well. But, I am feeling a little "home" sick this afternoon even though I am sitting at home working on my computer.

Aunt Alice

When I was fifteen, my father passed away. My mother was now responsible for raising six children. I was the oldest. My youngest sister was only four.

My aunt Alice was living and working in Texas at the time. She KNEW my mother would need help. She arranged to transfer to San Fransisco so she could be a bigger part of our lives. I don't think my siblings and I knew what a magical, important part of our lives she would become.

Aunt Alice

Aunt Alice specialized in adding magic and sparkle to the holidays. She bought large chocolate turkeys for Thanksgiving meals--one for each place setting. I remember biting off the head of my turkey on many occasions and filling up the hollow body with M&M's from my nut cup. She bought large chocolate bunnies for Easter, also. I remember saving my rabbit for months in an effort to savor my chocolate stash for as long as possible.

She would show up on Christmas Eve and join in our celebrations and program. Once we were all safely tucked into bed, she went to work. Santa and Aunt Alice were partners. She was probably Santa's "chief elf" and when we woke up early Christmas morning, we KNEW we couldn't sneak into the living room to take a quick peek. She would spend the night on the living room couch, guarding the Christmas surprises. We were always delighted by the wonderful treasures that were left under our Christmas tree.

Aunt Alice frequently took us to Farrells ice cream shop. We celebrated birthdays, the end of the school year, and good report cards. Hot Fudge Nutty Nutties and my aunt are intertwined in my memories.

It would not be the Fourth of July without Aunt Alice's yummy brownies and other delicious food. Sometimes we "pic-niced" on her living room floor. Other times we braved the cool San Fransisco July afternoons at a park with members of her ward.

It was not unusual for my Aunt to drive the hour or so from her apartment to our home to drop off some treat. She would stay for a half hour or so and then make the drive back. She was constantly thinking about us and wanting to make our life a little more special.

My aunt made an even longer drive as she traveled to Utah with my Mom while I was attending BYU because they were concerned about me marrying the wrong man. My aunt was there with me in the temple when I married the right man.

When she and my Aunt Ann served a mission to England, my aunt kept her San Fransisco apartment and told us to come and use it. Ron and I took her up on the offer on a couple of occasions. We enjoyed mini-vacations from the base of her home.

My aunt was there at baby blessings, baptisms, and other important family occasions. She rejoiced with us during the good times and prayed for us during the difficult times. As she grew older, she wasn't able to attend all the family celebrations that she wished but she still was a large part of our lives.


Over two years ago, she moved in with my mother and her husband, Jack. Life was hard for her because she couldn't do all that she wished. But her gentle spirit and wise counsel continued to bless and inspire our lives. Truly, she was a second mother to our family.

Sunday evening, my little family went to dinner at my Mom's. I could tell that my aunt was not feeling well. Monday morning, I received a phone call from my Mom. My aunt was in the E.R. Monday afternoon, I traveled to the hospital. I found my aunt lying very still in her hospital bed. She was so still that I knew this would probably be her final illness.

Early Tuesday February 1, my aunt passed away. She was not afraid to die. She looked forward to being reunited with her parents and other loved ones. As I sat with her in the hospital room Monday evening, there was a sacred feeling in her room. I could almost sense the spirits of family waiting to welcome her "home."

Aunt Alice--I will miss you. You truly were one of the noble and great ones. Thank you so much for your example and your love. I hope that I can be more like you.