This afternoon I fixed a wonderful dinner--BBQ chicken, Barbara's baked beans (delicious!), and baked potatoes. All I needed to do was add a vegetable and some fruit. I thought a jar of applesauce would be splendid. Unfortunately, I had to get a new jar out of food storage. An UNOPENED jar of applesauce.
Dinner was progressing nicely. Emily and I were enjoying our dinner when I realized that I hadn't helped myself to any of the wonderful applesauce. (It was one of my favorite foods growing up and I have to say, it is one of my favorite foods to this day.)
I tried to open the jar. I could not do it.
Emily tried to open the jar. She could not do it.
I pulled out the jar opener which usually works for me. It didn't work.
Emily tried the jar opener. It didn't work for her either.
She wailed, "I AM NOT WOMAN!"
She tried again. And again. And again.
She wailed, "WHERE IS DADDY WHEN WE NEED HIM!"
She tried some more. I said, "Perhaps we won't be eating applesauce tonight."
After a kajillion attempts, Emily grabbed a sharp knife and began sawing off the lid. She was not to be deterred. When she was successful, she shouted in a strong, powerful voice:
(All together now): I AM WOMAN!!!!!
I then added: HERE ME ROAR!!!!
Emily roared a mighty roar. I wish you could have been here.
Once she had it opened, she was so exhausted that she didn't even want any of its lovely contents. Oh well, it will still be here tomorrow.
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