I Am a Child of God

When I was a senior in high school, I took a yearbook class. One of the requirements to get an A was to sell at least three ads for the back of the yearbook. I was very shy and this scared me a lot. But, I also was a good student and I was determined to get an A.

I remember one fall afternoon walking to our local shopping center to sell ads. Every business I went to told me they were not interested. I finally came to the savings and loan--my savings and loan where I had a small savings account. My mother and siblings also had accounts there. Maybe--just maybe--they would buy an ad from me! I asked to speak to the bank manager and then gave my spiel.

I will never forget how embarrassed I was when he loudly said, "I would NEVER buy an ad from you!" I turned around quickly, left the bank--my bank that I never wanted to reenter--and with tears spilling down my cheeks quickly walked home.

As I entered the house, my mom could tell that I was upset. I quickly told her what happened and then went to my bedroom and flopped on my bed. I would NEVER get an A in yearbook because I would NEVER sell an ad! I would have to be satisfied with a B. But what hurt worse were the feelings of inadequacy I experienced. Why indeed would anyone want to buy an ad from me?

Probably 15 minutes passed before my Mom came into my room. She had gone to the bank and had spoken to the bank manager.

"Please go back. He wants to apologize and he may even buy an ad from you," she told me.

I was mortified. How could I face him again? Reluctantly, I began walking back to the bank. I was scared. How could I face him again?

Then, I remembered a song I had been taught in Primary so many years earlier.

I am a child of God,
And He has sent me here,
Has given me an earthly home,
With parents kind and dear.

Lead me, guide me, walk beside me,
Help me find the way,
Teach me all that I must do,
To live with Him someday.

As I sang this song softly to myself, my self-confidence grew. I AM a child of God! I shouldn't let a man make me feel badly about myself. With a lot more courage, I entered that savings and loan and spoke to the manager. He did apologize and he DID buy an ad. I went on to sell two more ads--including a full-paged one which should have earned me an A+ in that class.

But what is more important is that I learned I can do hard things because I am indeed a child of God.

Trust in the Lord

Shortly before we moved, our stake President asked me to spontaneously share my testimony in stake conference. I had a few minutes to gather my thoughts together before it was my turn to speak.

What should I share with the people I loved so much in Stockton? These people were my family. I had lived among them for 25 years. They had helped raise my children as they taught them in Primary, Sunday School, Young Women, and Seminary. They are my friends--they will ALWAYS be my friends. Now, our family was commencing a new chapter in our lives and I was being asked to share a parting message.

The thought that came to me is found in Proverbs: "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him; and He shall direct thy paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6)

As I shared that scripture with the large congregation, I announced to the stake what most people did not know--that our family was moving in a couple of months. They were gasps of shock. No one expected us to move--including ourselves. We thought we would stay in Stockton for the rest of our lives.

This scripture has been my guideline for most of my married life. I remember living in Texas soon after Ron graduated from BYU. After a year of living there, Ron and I were moving back to California because the construction project he was supervising was coming to an end. Even though I was excited about being close to family again, I was puzzled why we came to Texas in the first place. One day, as I was visiting teaching a mature, wonderful woman and her elderly mother I expressed my thoughts. With tears in my eyes I asked, "Why is this happening to us?"

This good sister paused a couple of minutes before answering my question. Perhaps she was praying and asking for guidance.

"Loralee," she said, "I don't know exactly why you came to Texas for such a short time nor do I know why you are going back to California now. But this I do know, you will look back on this time in your life and see that you have learned some important lessons that will help you in your next chapter in life."

Her words brought me comfort.

Ron, Emily, and I have lived in our new home for six months. It is still hard at times living here. I miss my friends and Stockton home greatly. But, I am learning lessons that hopefully are making me stronger and a better person. I see the great good that Ron is doing as ward mission leader. He has helped touch the hearts of several people in our ward and they are coming back to church. I see how Emily has become a more diligent student as a result of this move and developing greater self-confidence. I am relishing living closer to my mother, brothers and their wives, and nieces and nephews and developing a more tight-knit relationship with them.

I pray that I may know what other lessons we are supposed to learn. I am trusting in the Lord that this will be a rich experience and that when I look back I will see the hand of the Lord in our lives. I know that He does indeed direct our paths.

New!

Ron and I attended a convert baptism Saturday afternoon for a 17 year old young man. His mother had been baptized three months earlier in the Central Valley. He attended her baptism and was so touched, that when he returned to the Bay Area where he lives with his father, he asked to meet with the missionaries.

The baptism was very special. The Spirit was strong and there was great support from not only the young men leaders, but the Priest's quorum as well. As Robert changed from his wet baptismal clothing into something dry, a few people shared their testimonies. Ron asked his mother to share her testimony after Robert returned.

His mother, a recent convert herself, shared a powerful testimony of Joseph Smith, the Book of Mormon, and Jesus Christ. She shared how happy she is. His uncle, who has been a member a lot longer also got up and shared his testimony when Robert returned. When they finished, a 16 year old boy in our ward gave a talk on the Holy Ghost.

What happened next surprised all of us. Robert spontaneously got up and shared HIS testimony. Smiling broadly he said something like this:

"My heart is beating so fast right now and yet it feels so peaceful! I feel so good! The atmosphere in the room has changed since I got baptized. I don't know how to describe it, but I feel new and I know I made the right decision."

He finished his testimony and sat down. There wasn't a dry eye in the room.

His experience reminded me of my own baptismal day when I was eight. There were several children getting baptized that day. I remember having butterflies in my stomach as all eyes were on me as I walked into the font. My dad then raised his arm to the square and exercising his priesthood power baptized me. As I came out of the water, I felt so warm and good and clean. I felt new! I am sure I was grinning ear to ear--much like Robert was on Saturday. I didn't want to do anything wrong EVER again.

Unfortunately, within a couple hours of getting baptized, I remember sticking my tongue out at a younger sibling who had annoyed me. I remember covering my mouth with my hand so no one would see the offensive action--yet I knew that Heavenly Father had seen me and I was so sad that I wasn't clean any longer.

Thank goodness, as we take the Sacrament worthily each week, we can be forgiven of our sins and imperfections. We can feel new again every week as we strive to repent.

I love this song from the musical--Debbie--Diary of a Mormon Girl. The lyrics were written by Barbara Tanner.

Just out of the water, still wet behind the ears.
Dripping like a spring leaf, a face soaked with tears.
Out of the water and into the air,
The first breath of freedom I've had anywhere.

I come from the water's edge, pure and undefiled,
A sacrifice worthy as Abraham's child.
World! I have found it, the fountain of youth,
Come bathe your tired soul in the waters of truth!

New...I am new,
Not tired and spent, for one shining moment,
Not weary or worn.
New is the feeling and clean is the scent
Of body and spirit together reborn.