Excuse Me...I Didn't Catch Your Name

Tuesday night the doorbell rang. Ron and I answered the door. There stood a nice looking older couple on our doorstep. They said, "Hi, we're here to take you to dinner!"

Wow! That's never happened before.

Unfortunately we had already eaten and Ron, Emily, and I had commitments that evening.

Emily was playing Nerf guns for Mutual. I was helping the Mia Maids with Personal Progress. Ron was going out with the missionaries. We also had three steaming hot lasagnas on our kitchen counter waiting to be transported to the church to feed the homeless at the Armory.

Ron explained all this to this very nice looking couple.

The man said, "No problem. My wife will visit your wife and we'll take the lasagnas to the church."

With that, the woman came into our house. I excused myself for a minute to make sure Emily had woken up from her short nap.

"Who is in our house?" she whispered.

"I have no idea," I whispered back.

There was a very nice looking lady sitting in my living room and I had no idea who she was!

Now, that doesn't happen every day!

I walked back into the living room and the very nice looking woman and I began making conversation. I figured out that she is a member of our ward. Good to know! I discovered that she has three adult sons. I learned that she can't wait to have grandchildren. I found out that she's lived in Morgan Hill for over 30 years and that she used to work for Kaiser.

I learned quite a bit of information about this very nice looking woman but I never learned her name.

Ron and the very nice looking man came back from delivering the lasagnas. They sat in the living room and we continued our conversation.

I learned that the man has worked in construction since he was in his early 30's. I learned that he worked for a large Utah contractor for many years before starting his own company. I learned that he never made a lot of money, but he's happy. I learned that he knows my brothers and my mother and Jack and that he was surprised to discover I was related to them.

I learned quite a bit of information about this very nice looking man but I never learned his name.

As they prepared to leave, they expressed their disappointment that we had already eaten. They were really looking forward to getting to know us better.

"We'll have to do it another time," they remarked as we said our good-byes. Ron and I said we were looking forward to it.

The door closed. They drove off.

"Who are they?" I asked Ron.

"Hmmm...I'm not sure," Ron replied.

All I can say is that we better figure out their names soon.

Oh...It's THAT Card!

Yesterday I was dashing around like a mad woman trying to finish the preparations for Emily's birthday. She was very specific in what she wanted for her birthday dinner and I was not able to find a couple common ingredients at the first store I went to. Or at Costco. In fact I went to THREE grocery stores to find a chocolate pie crust. In the amount of time it took to drive to those three stores, I could have bought Oreo cookies and made my own pie crust...

At the last grocery store, I was beyond the point of exhaustion. It had been a marathon errand day. Post office. Music store. Library. Kohls. Grocery Store 1. Costco. Grocery Store 2. Another store to pick up a final gift. Finally I stopped at Safeway.

I only picked up two things at Safeway--Fuji apples which were on sale and the Oreo pie crust. The lines were long. I thought, "I will do the self checkout."

Would you believe I needed assistance THREE times for two items?

The first time I needed assistance was really not my fault. The woman in front of me canceled her transaction and a friendly Safeway employee had to clear the scanning machine.

I scanned the Oreo pie crust. It was on sale if I used my club card. The machine asked me to scan my card. Obediently I did so. I like a sale!

I then placed the Fuji apples on the checkout scanner. There was no bar code so I had to find the correct produce and choose that option on the touchscreen. The apples were on sale for 78 cents a pound. Yet, the machine showed that they were $1.98. I called the friendly Safeway employee over and pointed out the error.

"Look," she said pointing at the screen, "They deducted part of the price reflecting the sale price because you used your Safeway Club Card."

Oh. I felt a little embarrassed. Because I was flustered, I placed the apples on the shelf next to the bag instead of IN the bag. I didn't think it mattered. Apparently it mattered.

"Unauthorized item on shelf. Please make sure you scan item."

Or something to that affect.

I quickly put my apples in the bag. I then told the machine I was done and needed to pay for my purchases. The machine gave me several options for payment. I pushed the debit/credit option. It told me to slide my card. I did. It told me to type in my pin. I did.

"Unauthorized transaction," the machine said. "Please see employee for assistance."

"That's strange," I thought. I KNOW I have money in my account. "Maybe I pushed the wrong button."

So, I tried it again.

I pushed the debit/credit button, swiped my card, typed in my pin.

"Unauthorized transaction. Please see employee for assistance."

"What?" I motioned to the friendly Safeway employee for the third time and then I looked down at my card. I was swiping my Safeway Club Card instead of my debit card! Quickly, I changed the card before the friendly Safeway employee came over. She walked me through the transaction and Voila! It worked.

It's amazing what using the right card will do!

Feeling Like a Fool

Last week, Emily and I were enjoying American Idol. The last act was 62 year old "General" Larry Platt who performed the now viral hit, "Pants on the Ground." In case you haven't seen it, here it is for your viewing pleasure.




What a catchy tune!

Well...I have had that tune running through my head like an ear worm for the past 24 hours.

But first, a flashback moment from my very distant past.

When I was a young girl, I loved books. (Still do.) I remember my mother reading me many, many books. One of my favorite childhood books was Millions of Cats by Wanda Gag. Wilkipedia, that wonderful on-line encyclopedia shares that not only did it win the Newberry Award in 1929, but it is the oldest picture book still in print. It is about a lonely old woman and a lonely old man who decided they wanted a cat. The husband set off to find the perfect cat and found a hillside where there were "hundreds of cats, thousands of cats, millions, and billions, and trillions of cats." This phrase is repeated several times throughout the book. Many times, after hearing this book read (or later reading it to my daughters) I would hear this phrase repeated in my brain--over and over, much like the ear worm that I have when I even see the phrase, "Pants on the Ground."

Well, now I want to share another memory from my distant past. (I promise, there really is a point to this very rambling post.)

When Ron and I were first married and living in Provo we had an experience that forever turned us off Log Cabin Syrup with it's pop-up lid. We had made a lovely batch of pancakes. They were fluffy and perfectly browned. We heated up the syrup (still in the container) in a pan full of hot water. Carefully we buttered our stack of pancakes and then drizzled pancake syrup over our pancakes.

In horror, we saw ants floating in our syrup and soaking into our lovely pancakes. Hundreds of ants, thousands of ants, millions and billions and trillions of ants. Of course, the pancakes were thrown away.

Now, for the latest experience that occurred yesterday morning.

After coming back from my delightful Friday morning walk with Julie, I poured myself a bowl of cereal. If you MUST know, it was Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds. I sat down to enjoy my cereal when I saw not one, but TWO ants in my bowl. Shuddering, I investigated further.

I could not see any signs of ants in the actual cereal, but the outside box of the cereal had a few ants on it. I investigated further.

Next to the Honey Bunches of Oats Cereal (with almonds) was a box of Lucky Charms that Emily enjoys partaking of occasionally. I saw more ants on that box of cereal. Opening the box, I removed the cellophane interior where the cereal was nestling. I looked inside the cellophane to see if there were any ants in THAT cereal. I didn't see any. I left all the cereal on the kitchen counter so that the cupboard could be cleaned out. A few minutes later, I noticed many, many ants swarming all over the Lucky Charms Cereal.

There were hundreds of ants, thousands of ants, millions and billions and trillions of ants. The rain that we have been receiving the past few days drove them into my house and straight to the warmth and security of the Lucky Charms cereal.

I don't know if I can ever buy Lucky Charms cereal again.

And that is why I have "Pants on the Ground" playing in my brain over and over the past 24 hours. But instead of the original lyrics I hear these words:

Ants in my food,
Ants in my food,
Feeling like a fool with these
Ants in my food.