Touch of the Irish or Experiments in Food Coloring Gone Very Wrong

Today is St. Patrick's Day. I don't recall if we have any Irish blood in our family tree. It seems like we are predominantly English with a touch of Welsh and German added to the mix. But, like everyone else, we all like to be Irish at least one day of the year.

Traditionally, I have made a fun St. Patrick's Day dinner. One year I actually made corned beef and cabbage. It was so salty that I never repeated that particular meal. Usually I take a somewhat normal menu and Irish-ize it a bit. For example, if I'm making something that is conducive to serving with mashed potatoes or rice, I'll add a few drops of green food coloring to turn a normally white food into a lovely shade of green. I also ALWAYS make green Jell-O. It's tradition.

Well, I got up this morning and planned on making delicious green Jell-O. As I rummaged through the pantry for the appropriate lime flavored gelatin, I was disappointed to find that we had absolutely no green Jell-O! I could remedy that with a quick trip to the grocery store, but with all the things going on today, I never made it out the door until after lunch. I knew that making Jell-O at that point in the day was pretty pointless. It would not be set by dinner.

I then planned on making some St. Patrick Day Squares. These are a delicious chocolate bar cookie with a green peppermint filling. Semi-sweet chocolate--check. Coconut--check. Cocoa--check. Powdered Sugar--check. Graham Crackers......Graham Crackers......Graham Crackers.....No check. I looked in not only the kitchen cupboards, but the back-up pantries where I keep extra food stuffs. No graham crackers anywhere. Well, there goes that idea.

Our refrigerator was full of leftovers. The thought of making stir-fried chicken with asparagus and green rice just didn't seem practical when I could barely fit what was already in the refrigerator. It didn't seem wise to add to the plenty. So, I decided we would have leftovers tonight. There went our St. Patrick's Day dinner.

So, tonight we partook of leftover chicken linguine casserole--a little more Italian in roots than Irish. I told Emily she could add a few drops of green food coloring to turn the dish a beautiful shade of green. She declined. We also had garlic bread. No green in sight, but it was delicious and oh so yummy. We also had a green salad. Hurray! Finally a green food--although a pretty traditional one. We also enjoyed applesauce and milk. Emily decided for traditions sake that she needed to at least color her milk green. It turned a lovely shade of green. She offered to doctor my drink up as well. I told her "no thanks." I can't drink green milk any longer. It TASTES different to me and makes me slightly ill. I then suggested that she add some blue food coloring to her yellow applesauce. She added one drop, but it wasn't green enough. She added a little yellow. I cannot even begin to describe the awful color. It was pretty horrific. I then suggested that she add some green food coloring to hopefully even things out.

It was repulsive! It made me sick looking at her ghastly applesauce on her plate. It was a neon, hazardous waste green. It was like every green baby food combined together. It hurt my eyes looking at it. It was putrid and I told her, "You d0n't have to eat it."

"But, Mooooooom, I'll feel wasteful if I don't eat it. She ate a tiny bite. Her tongue turned green and Emily was turning a greenish color just looking at her applesauce.

"Emily, you really don't have to eat it. Just dump it down the disposal."

"But, Mooooooooom, I'll feel guilty if I throw it away."

She took another bite. Her tongue was even an even more noxious shade of green.

"Please, Emily! Throw it away. It makes me ill watching you eat this."

It didn't take much convincing. She threw the rest of the applesauce away.

Oh, well. Next year we'll have a proper St. Patrick's Day dinner. I see sweet and sour chicken served over a bed of mint colored rice, a light green homemade bread, green Jell-O (Must stock up on that precious commodity), green salad, steamed asparagus, and shamrock shaped sugar cookies. Next year the tradition will continue.