Tears of Joy and Gratitude

It was Saturday, December 19 around 10 pm at night and I was lying on a large, pillow bedecked couch at the reception site crying. In the kitchen I could hear Christie and Tim talking but I couldn't understand what they were saying. Ron had been vacuuming for at least the third time--trying to pick up all the sparkly things on the floor. My feet hurt after wearing a brand new pair of shoes all day. But that is not why I was crying.

(Note to self: Do not wear a brand new pair of shoes when you have to do a lot of standing. And walking. And picture taking. Even if they are very cute. Break them in first.)

I was past the point of exhaustion. It had been a wonderful day! A splendid day! A day where a new family was joined together in a sacred temple of God. A day where we had plenty of sunshine instead of rain and fog. A day of sweet surprises where a cousin-in-law drove at least three hours each way to be with our family.

As I lay there on the sofa, wiping away the tears, I thought about Jennifer's life. I remember holding her in my arms for the first time and marveling at all her dark hair. I remember sending her off to Kindergarten for the first time. I remember high school graduation and leaving her in the dorms at college. I remember the happiness in her voice when she called to let me know that she met someone special. And now, today was her wedding day. And I cried.

I cried mainly tears of joy--joy that she was married in the temple and that she married a wonderful young man. But my tears were also just a little sad. She would no longer need me the way she once had. And that is right. And it is good. But, I would miss her.

I also cried tears of gratitude. I was grateful for my family supporting us this day--for taking time out of their busy lives to be with Jennifer and Jacob. For two sisters, two daughters, and a son-in-law who flew in from Utah. For parents who were dealing with plumbing problems and computer crashing problems, and other pesky problems and yet still came. For two nieces who left young families to take photographs at the temple. For a brother who stepped in at the last moment to take the pictures at the reception. For an absolutely wonderful sister-in-law who was dealing with the death of her mother-in-law and yet still found time to do the wedding flowers. For family members who were stressed and crazy with Christmas preparations and yet still were there. How could I thank them? How could I express my gratitude?

I cried additional tears of gratitude for wonderful friends. Friends who love me and worked together to create a memorable experience. I know that some lost sleep. I know that they worked tirelessly. I know they could have been working on their own Christmas preparations or spending time with their own families. Yet, they prepared food and made the wedding cake. They served food and cut the wedding cake. They helped set up and clean up and stepped in with a listening ear and plenty of hugs when I just didn't know if I could pull it off. And so, I cried.

It's been just over three weeks and I think my body, my mind, and my spirit are returning to normal. I'm thinking a little more clearly. I'm feeling a little more rested. But, my feelings of gratitude have persisted.

Dear Family. Dear Friends. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! Yes, I cried that December 19, but they were tears of joy and gratitude for having you a part of my life.