Lora and Robert's Excellent Adventure

Before I begin telling you this story, let me share some background. Over 17 years ago I discovered a wonderful hairdresser named Donna. She always seemed to know what to do with my hair. (OK, there were a couple of bad haircuts when she just learned that someone she loved had died, but other than that, she has been excellent.)

Donna and I have more than just a business relationship. She has also become a friend. We have discussed religion, (interesting conversations between a Baptist and LDS believer) politics, (not quite so scary since we both have conservative beliefs) and of course our families.

When Ron lost his job last year, Donna added him to her church's prayer roll and prayed for our family daily. She rejoiced when he found a job. Several years ago when Heather was a poor college student she chemically straightened her hair for the cost of the chemicals--because she wanted to, not because she HAD to. She gave Christie and Tim a lovely wedding gift of assorted hair products and made little ham sandwiches for Jennifer and Jacob's reception. OK, with that background, I'm ready to share my most excellent adventure.

A few months ago, Donna told me that one of her students (she also teaches at a cosmetology college) needed a hair model for the state boards. "Would I be interested in helping out?" She explained it would take place in the Bay Area and that I would need to be there for about four hours. Jennifer and Jacob had just gotten engaged. I told her that as long as it took place after December, I would be happy to help out.

I imagined that her student would come to the beauty salon where she worked where he could meet me and my hair. Umm...that is not exactly what happened.

About three weeks before Jennifer and Jacob's wedding day, she called and left a message on my machine. "Lora, can you meet with Robert on December 7 at the Beauty College? He needs to practice for the state boards?"

How could I say "no?" I had committed to helping out. So, on the only day that Stockton has seen significant snowfall in probably two decades, I headed over to the beauty college. There I met Robert and thus our excellent adventure began.

The first thing I noticed was how cold the building was. Donna tried to turn on the heat but I couldn't sense any difference. I was specifically told to wear a collared shirt without a sweater to make it easier for Robert. I realized how skimpy my long sleeved collared shirt collection is. I believe I can count two such shirts in my wardrobe. One was in the laundry. That left one long sleeved collared shirt for me to choose from--not an especially warm shirt. But, how could I not go along with Donna's request? After all, I had made a commitment.

Pretty soon the practice test began. Robert first had to drape me. He struggled putting towels and drapes around my neck and head. In his exuberance to keep everything together, he pulled the drape so snugly that I thought perhaps-- just perhaps--I would not be able to breath. But, I didn't say anything because I had been instructed by Donna that I couldn't talk to Robert and he couldn't talk to me during the entire examination process. I didn't say a word that I might possibly choke and die in his chair. After all, I had made a commitment.

As soon as Robert and Donna weren't looking, I loosened the stranglehold the drape had around my neck. Breathing easier, I waited for the next step. Ahhh....it was time to get my hair wet. Robert tried to get warm water to come out of the tap, but the pipes were just as cold as the room. Nothing resembling warm water ever appeared. As he soaked my head I began thinking that maybe this adventure would not be so excellent after all.

Robert stimulated coloring my hair using a type of shaving cream. He stimulated giving me a permanent by putting little rollers in my hair. He stimulated tinting my hair with another application of shaving cream. Between each treatment, I got to go to the sink and get my hair rinsed out again. I was becoming colder and colder. I believe my lips were turning purple. I know my fingernails were getting a a blueish tinge and my toes were numb.

Robert had to put make-up on me. He applied several products that made my face feel like a mask. I was very, very nervous when he applied mascara. Do you know how scary it is for a twenty-something year old man to put mascara on your lashes? Very scary!!!

One of the last steps in his practice exam was giving me a manicure--on one hand only. He demonstrated his knowledge of applying acrylic nails by applying only one--to my pinky nail. For 4 1/2 hours I shivered as he practiced various treatments. When he pulled out his razor to give me a "pretend" haircut I wanted to shout for Donna to watch him carefully! My daughter was getting married in less than two weeks and I really didn't want my hair butchered. Thankfully, no hair was lost that I was aware of.

When it was over, Donna quickly blow dried my hair so I wouldn't leave with wet hair. I had time to pick up Emily from school and then proceeded to teach piano lessons with make-up I normally don't wear, shaving cream residue in my hair, and one nicely manicured hand with an extra long acrylic pinky nail. I'm sure I looked a sight.

When I talked to Donna a week later about how Robert did, she told me that he decided he was going to ask his sister to be his "hair model" so he could practice with her frequently before his state boards. Thank goodness my not-so-excellent adventure was completed.