Worse Christmas Music EVER

Last night as we were driving back from watching yet another high school production of "It's A Wonderful Life" to watch Emily's friend Chris perform the role of diabolical Mr. Potter, we were of course listening to Christmas music.

Because, after all, it IS Christmas time.

Just as we reached the turnoff of our cute little town, "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" began playing over our car's sound system.

I can't stand "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."

Ron and Emily KNOW I can't stand this song. So, Ron turned up the music a little louder and they both began blaring,

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve
You can say that there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

I think this song should be banned. At least from our family. Which made me think of other Christmas songs I CANNOT stand. In no particular order they are:

1. Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer. I LOVE my grandmas. I love my mother who is also a grandma. And someday, I will be a Grandma. What is it about a reindeer running over a grandma that people find so humorous? Don't they LOVE their grandmas?

2. Santa Baby. Even the opening notes of the deep male singers going Ba Doom Ba Doom is
enough to make my skin crawl. And then when the floozy female singer starts singing

Santa baby, just slip a sable under the tree, for me
Been an awful good girl
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

I can hardly stand it. Materialism at its worst.

3. The Christmas Shoes. The first time I heard this song, I admit, it brought tears to my eyes. Because I'm sentimental like that. The second time I heard this song I admit, it brought a lump to my throat. Because I'm sentimental like that. But the third time I heard this song I thought, "What?" Why isn't this little boy home with his dying mother on Christmas Eve? Why isn't he rubbing her feet with Bath and Body Works Black Raspberry Vanilla and showing her how much he loves her? Why is he out shopping for shoes?

Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

4. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus. I am sad to admit that my parents owned this song while I was growing up. Do you know HOW disturbing it is to think as a little girl that your mommy might actually kiss Santa Claus? I mean, YUCK! I am happy to report that not one CD I own has this song on it.

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
She didn't see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peep;
She thought that I was tucked up
in my bedroom fast asleep.

5. Finally, I don't really like The Twelve Days of Christmas. It goes on and on and on FOREVER! How many times do you need to hear about three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree? There is ONE time I actually liked the song. It was when the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and King Singer's performed it and they had dancers acting out the parts. It was a visual and audio masterpiece.

There you have it. My five least favorite Christmas Songs.